Since you asked. . .well, you did not. But, you should have! This is a brief post discussing Onedia’s Edible Laws.
To be considered edible food must comply with the following:
- It must not originate from or contain any part the purpose of which is to process or eliminate toxins or waste;
- It must not be part of the information processing system either the acquisition or storing of data optical, auditory or olfactory;
- It must not contain any but miniscule remnants of blood;
- It must not be the primary pump for circulating said blood;
- It must not be used to lap water or other liquids including mother’s milk;
- It must not be part of the reproductive system;
- It must not be part of the digestive system.
- If it has no limbs and slithers on the ground and probably in the water it is NOT edible.
- If it has a shell on dry land it is not edible.
- If it smells really bad before, during or after cooking it is not edible.
- If it is poisonous in any stage it is not edible.
- If it simultaneously burns your lips and tongue while making your nose and eyes water and leaves you gasping for more than five minutes it is not edible.
Ammended conditions and qualifications may be appended at any time of discovery.